


Life, with Stefon.

by clockwork_orange



Category: Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live RPF, Weekend Update (SNL)
Genre: And even more feels, Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, Lots of Innuendo, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, almost canon compliant, but mainly the story of how they got together, my first smutt, snl references, some smutt at the end, they're idiots and they're in love, what happened after that Valentine's day Update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockwork_orange/pseuds/clockwork_orange
Summary: "Stefon was just one of those people you meet sometimes that have something special about them. Something that makes you want to spend time with them just to watch them be. Seth didn’t understand what was going on in Stefon’s mind, but he was more than happy to be surprised again and again by his deadpan wit and his unexpected kindness."Or, how Seth discovers that his feelings for Stefon might not be entirely platonic after all.
Relationships: Seth - Relationship, Seth Meyers/Stefon
Comments: 14
Kudos: 83
Collections: Random_Favorites





	Life, with Stefon.

**Author's Note:**

> Quarantine got me binge watching every Stefon appearance on Update, and this happened. The story is set right after SNL's 2011 Valentine's day episode, which you can watch here (starting at the six minute mark): https://youtu.be/lEM7h3fz2RE
> 
> It was my first attempt at a longer text in English, so any type of comment or advice is very much welcome.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy and that y'all are safe out there :)

“I’d take you right here if I could” Seth whispers jokingly, brushing past Stefon as he exits the set and heads towards his dressing room.

“By all means, Seth Meyers, do it.”

Seth doesn’t know if he’s kidding. It’s always hard to tell with Stefon. Is the flirtiness real, or is it yet another bit to make him crack up? Today’s update had been outrageously full of sexual innuendo, with Stefon ad-libbing much more than what was usual for him. Suggestions of doing a full 180 “or something” had been made, and Seth hoped his makeup had covered the heat of his cheeks. He wasn’t sure what it was about Stefon that made him flustered. Stefon was just one of those people you meet sometimes that have something _special_ about them. Something that makes you want to spend time with them just to watch them be. Seth didn’t understand what was going on in Stefon’s mind, but he was more than happy to be surprised again and again by his deadpan wit and his unexpected kindness.

That was as far as it went, however. Seth would invite Stefon at his place after the show sometimes, for drinks and to catch up while the adrenaline rush subsided, dropping a bit of the push-and-pull act they maintained on tv. Their friendship in real life felt much more natural than the semi-professional relationship they had to present on air. On Seth’s couch, late in the night, they would talk for hours, Stefon discussing the best parties he had attended (with all the details that would never make it on NBC), and then going on to discuss politics, and confide how nervous he was about the state of the world. Seth felt an ever-growing tenderness for the young man’s candor in spite of his racy persona. Under the layers of exaggeration and humour was someone who had been through a lot already. Someone who could not look at the world without seeing just how _fucked up_ it was, and for whom drugs were a way to take off the edge, to make his lucidity bearable. Seth wished he could show Stefon that happiness and lucidity were not wholly incompatible, but he felt like anything he might say would be overstepping the boundaries of their weird friendship. So he felt satisfied enough by lending his ear a few evenings a year, and his couch too, since both men would often fall asleep side by side in the early hours of the morning, defeated by the night’s excitement and by the alcohol. When they woke up, in the early Sunday afternoon, they would often go for brunch together, smelly and hungover, but happy to have made it through another crazy week. Seth also took the opportunity to make sure Stefon had a real meal and a few glasses of water in his system.

Those few hours of shared friendship were the best part of the week for Seth, a balm on his nerves after the crazy writing days and the adrenaline-fueled Saturday. But although he found himself looking forward to Stefon’s appearances on the show more and more because of the evening they entailed, he didn’t think much more of it. Sure, Stefon’s flirty jokes sometimes made him blush, made his hand tremble ever so slightly. But Stefon was like that, he made people like him so easily, and revealed just enough about himself to make others curious. Seth blamed most of it on the dazed state he was on when he hung out with Stefon anyways, because of the tiredness and the nerves that were inevitable when working on SNL. Had he been asked about it, he would’ve said that the current state of things was perfect: one or two appearances on the show every season, topped by an evening of catching up, and brunch the following day. And from time to time, if the world felt like it was going to shit again, or if it had been too long since the last show they were on together, a phone call to chat and plan an outing to a club that would never happen. They were close acquaintances, really. That kind of friends that don’t hangout that much, and don’t miss each other, but who always feel like they’ve only just parted when they reunite. Seth was grateful for the quality content Stefon brought to the show, and was glad he got to put a touch of softness in the man’s weird life. And that was all.

So he doesn’t think much of it at all when, passing Stefon in 30 Rock’s corridor, he whispers a flirty remark to get him back for his little improv on-air. “I’d take you right here if I could”, referencing the word play Stefon had thought good to add to their Update bit. Of course, Stefon’s answer is deadpan as always, looking him right in the eyes and inviting him to proceed. Something stirs in Seth, a “what if” that comes and goes too quickly for him to pay it attention. He laughs it off, but stops his walk towards his dressing room. “My place for drinks again tonight, man? It’s been a while!” Stefon appears to hesitate for a split second, and lets out a faint sigh. He looks tired, Seth notices. But then he shrugs it off, and answers as his usual self. “Of course, Meyers. You know I only do the show to get to spend some time with your cute face after.” Seth grins. “I knew it! Well great then, feel free to go watch the rest of the show from the green room! My work week doesn’t end until in half an hour, but I’ll make sure not to leave without you!” And he sets off towards his dressing room at a quick pace, not really waiting for an answer. His brain is still in work mode, and as head-writer, he has a lot to do until the very last minute.

Finally, the last sketch ends and the last laughs echo through the small eighth-floor studio. The cast comes back for goodbyes, and the audience cheers loudly for Stefon, who appears to grow even more anxious. Standing next to him, Seth places his hand on his back reassuringly. “They love you buddy, relax!” But Stefon only gives him a tense smile and returns to staring at a point in the distance, waiting for the noise and lights to subside. He doesn’t move away from Seth’s hand however, and Seth can feel his breath slowing down a little, which at least is a start. He knows that doing the show pushes Stefon way out of his comfort zone (said comfort zone apparently being wild, wild clubs), but he figures that he must find it gratifying, since he accepts every invitation to come back. Seth hopes Stefon is at least enjoying the applause a tiny bit. After all, he earned them. His appearance on Weekend Update once against boosted the show’s ratings. The man is a star.

It’s almost two in the morning by the time the entire audience has left and the studio is tidy enough to be closed until Monday. Writers and cast members are removing the last traces of makeup and getting ready to head to the afterparty. “You coming, Meyers?” Armisen shouts from his dressing room as Seth passes it, headed for the green room.

“Nah man, I’m completely wrecked and I really need the sleep. Plus, I told Stefon we’d grab a beer or something.”

"He could come to the party too, you know. The whole cast likes him, he’s fun to be around."

"I… yeah, I suppose. I’ll ask him."

"Sounds good! I’ll see ya later boss!"

As he starts towards the green room again, Seth wonders why the idea of going to the afterparty is so hateful to him right now. He usually enjoys cast parties, at least for the first hour until he gets oversaturated by the noise and the people, and chooses to go home. But overall, they are a good time. And it’s not like he dislikes the idea of Stefon hanging out with the rest of the cast either, quite on the contrary. He likes to see that everyone gets along, and that Stefon manages to fit in in spite of… well in spite of being Stefon. But tonight, right now… Seth has been looking forward to this quiet night all week, and the idea of heading to a noisy, busy party instead… He realizes that he craves the quiet living room and the intimate conversation. He doesn’t know many people with whom he can be so comfortable, and he rarely gets to spend time with Stefon… No, no party tonight. He might mention it to make sure he’s not depriving his friend of something he would really like (Stefon _is_ the biggest party monster there is, after all), but he really hopes they’ll stick to the original plan. All he wants is to crash on the couch and talk until sleep gets the better of them.

He finally gets to the green room and sees Stefon hunched over a coffee table, the only person left there. He knocks awkwardly on the doorframe to make his presence known, and Stefon jumps. He turns his head slowly towards Seth, looking guilty. He has his back to him and Seth can’t see what he’s doing. “Hum, Stefon is in the middle of something right now, Seth Meyers. You might want to come back in a minute when I’m done. You’re so _nice_ , you wouldn’t like it.”

“What? Stefon, what’s up? C’mon, we can finally leave, I’m exhausted.” Seth moves over to Stefon and looks over the man’s shoulder to see what he’s doing. On the coffee table is one neat white line and a little pile of not-yet-arranged white powder. Stefon moves awkwardly and tries to hide it, but it only makes him look guiltier. And sort of miserable, notices Seth.

“Oh. God, Stefon. You’re doing this here, right now?”

Seth isn’t a saint. Nor is he unfamiliar with drugs. He himself isn’t a regular user of anything more potent than alcohol, or pot on occasions, but SNL afterparties are always far from innocent, and he’s used to being around people getting high. He is no fool either, and is very well aware that Stefon spends most of his time high as a kite, trying to get the party going. But there’s something about seeing him do it here, in the studio, unable to wait and not even slightly bothered about being discrete… Seth feels uneasy. He thought Stefon enjoyed his gig here, thought it made him feel a bit better than usual. But Stefon doesn’t look like he’s simply celebrating a job well done by getting coked up. No, he looks like he will pass out or throw up if he doesn’t get his fix soon. Seth’s eyebrows knit.

“I told you you wouldn’t like it, Seth Meyers. Stefon needs his happy powder tonight. Want some? I’m happy to shaare.”

“Hey, buddy, listen. How about you wait an extra twenty minutes? Let’s go to my place like we said, have a drink, talk it out. And if you still need it then, I won’t stop you. But hey, you’re my valentine after all. I’d hate for you to have forgotten all about our steamy evening by tomorrow!”

Seth tops off his sentence with a wink, trying to get across as light and unconcerned. He knows he’s silly to worry about what is yet another fix, but there’s a look in Stefon’s eyes tonight that makes him genuinely concerned. His friend looks sad and confused, and he worries that the gig on Weekend Update might have something to do with it. He knows first hand how hard the pressure gets to deal with, but he’s sure he could help out with that. If Stefon is completely gone on his high however, he knows it’s going to be hard to get anything more than incomprehensible blabbering from him in the next few hours.

“I’m sorry, but Stefon’s not doing too good tonight. I don’t know if I should still come, I might not be able to sound clever for the great Seth Meyers. I think I might be better to go meet up with DJ baby bok choy instead”

"Nonsense Stefon, I’ve looked forward to this all week."

"You did?”

Seth didn’t mean to be so blunt about this. He feels weird about Stefon knowing just how much their shared evenings mean to him. But the way his face lights up makes him glad to have told him, he supposes.

“Yeah. Yeah of course I did buddy! Though I should tell you, Armisen was asking if we wanted to go to the afterparty…”

Seth knows he probably should not feel glad to see Stefon’s face darken at this. But the truth is, he’s relieved to see that his friend doesn’t seem too excited about the prospect.

"Does Seth Meyers _want_ to go to the party? Stefon wouldn’t want to be more of a burden…"

"No Stefon, absolutely not. Sincerely, I’d much rather just go home. With you."

Seth reflects that this last sentence didn’t sound exactly like he wanted it to. But surprisingly, Stefon doesn’t even pick up the double entendre. He just nods and scrambles to clean up the coke on the table, put it in a little plastic bag and put the bag back in his pocket. In a few seconds, he’s standing next to Seth and looking at him with tired eyes that say: “Let’s go home. Now.”

* * *

They get out on Rockefeller avenue, the large street weirdly calm at this time of night. The world feels still and the silence buzzes in Seth’s ears, broken only by the sound, ever so often, of a car speeding on the wet pavement. The day had been rainy, but the sky had now cleared a bit, and Seth was grateful for the fresh air. He breathes it in deeply, trying to let go a of some of the adrenaline rush and to clear his mind. The mix of excitement, concern and exhaustion makes him feel a bit dizzy, and his legs feel tired, almost painfully so. Behind him, Stefon is quiet, perhaps taking in the same sensations. Seth signals with his hand as a car approaches. Thankfully the taxi stops and both men clamber in. Seth sits on the backseat with a sigh, grateful for the rest. Next to him, Stefon plops down quietly, hands fumbling with his sleeves, staring at the ground. As the taxi starts and heads for Seth’s apartment, an uncomfortable silence settles. Seth’s mind is racing as he tries to figure out what to say, tries to find the right words to make his friend feel better. The taxi ride home is usually loud and happy, both men still buzzing with excitement and proud of what they accomplished. Or sometimes, if the show wasn’t that good, they are quiet and chuckle darkly as they recall the worst mistakes of the night. But right now, Stefon looks sad and conflicted, lost in who knows what thoughts. Seth has no idea what to say to get him to open up without rushing him.

“You were on fire tonight, buddy,” he says softly. “A hundred degrees.” Even in the taxi lit up only by passing lights, Seth can see his friend’s face turn slightly green as Stefon buries it in his hands. Ok, wrong topic. At a loss to understand how his city correspondent could have been so flamboyant mere hours ago, and why he now looks so glum, Seth decides to keep his mouth shut and to bear the awkwardness for the rest of the ride.

At last, the car pulls over in front of the nice apartment building. As both men exit and the taxi disappears, Seth notices Stefon taking a few shaky breaths, fingers on his temples.

“Hey man, how about we go for a walk around the block? You really look like you could use some fresh air before we get in.” As the other man doesn’t answer, Seth simply puts a hand on his shoulder to move him forward and into a slow stroll. They walk side by side for a minute until Seth decides that the silence is killing him.

“Alright Stefon, what’s up? What happened between Update and the end of the show? You look like someone just rolled over Bark Ruffalo.”

“Bark Ruffalo likes being rolled over,” he answers, a trace of his usual self showing in the affected eye roll.

“Stefon!” But Seth’s exasperated smile tells of his relief. “C’mon, I’m being serious here. I don’t understand what’s happening.”

Stefon stays silent for a few seconds, grabbing at his sleeves again. Just when Seth stops expecting an answer, he finally says, low and soft: “Do you really have a girlfriend, Seth Meyers?”

Of all the crazy things Stefon could have said, Seth was certainly not expecting that one. Their walk has come to a halt, and Stefon has resumed staring at the floor, his hands hidden in his sleeves. He looks nervous and unassuming, but stands there, not adding anything, unequivocally waiting for an answer. Afraid to understand the implications of the question but hoping to be reassuring, Seth replies softly:

“I… No Stefon, I don’t have a girlfriend. It’s all for the bit. Wasn’t that obvious to you? Just like my exasperation at everything you say… and our obnoxious flirting for that matter.”

Somehow this doesn’t seem to help, and Stefon keeps staring obstinately at the ground.

“Stefon, I’m sorry but I don’t understand! Why is this important to you all of a sudden?”

“Seth Meyers doesn’t understand? How is this not clear to you? How much more forward can I be, Seth?”

Stefon looked up at Seth on those last words, staring right into his eyes. Seth can feel his mind piecing everything together but he doesn’t want to think about it, wants to block it out, wants to change the subject and for everything to be forgotten in the morning. Gosh, why aren’t they drunk right now? He doesn’t want anything to change between Stefon and him, but feels like this conversation is heading towards a point of no return.

“Seth, this is not important to me _all of a sudden_. It has been for months. I didn’t want to say anything, didn’t want to mess with any relationship you may have. Didn’t want to put you on the spot. But however it might be for you, most of what _I_ said on your show has been true: _…Kevin?_ is New York’s hottest club. Stefon’s single right now. And that’s because I can’t stop thinking about you, Seth Meyers.”

Stefon lets out his last three sentences in one breath, and immediately buries his face in his hands. He looks like he would be more than happy to crawl into the ground. Seth is standing comically still, totally unsure of what he ought to do. He passes a hand through his own hair and ruffles it, trying to think. His mind is blank. Is Stefon saying that he loves him? No, surely he merely wants to hookup, wants to get him out of his system. Why is this last thought somehow worse? No, Stefon is a friend. And has to stay a friend. Seth is straight. Seth does not have feelings for a man. The silence draws on a bit too long, heavy and awkward. Stefon grows visibly more miserable, as he realizes with full clarity that the deliverance he had hoped for, the tiniest hint of shared feelings, will not come. He lifts his head again, eyes sad and resigned, and looks softly upon his friend as he says in a near whisper:

“That’s ok, Seth Meyers. You can stop looking like a deer who just came face to face with Stephen Harper now. I get it. You’re straight and Stefon is a crazy junkie. I’m sorry it had to come to this, I really am. I wish Stefon and Seth could be friends for years and years and keep on platonically sleeping on the same couch for ever. But it’s too difficult. Boy do I know how to pick ‘em… So that’s it, Seth Meyers. Tonight was my last Weekend Update. I didn’t know how to tell you. Stefon likes it when it hurts, but not that kind of pain. I’m moving on. Goodnight, Seth Meyers. And thank you.”

He leans in and kisses Seth on the cheek before he can react, lips etching in a sad smile. He lingers on for not even a second, and then shakes his head, crosses the street, and heads back toward a busier avenue at a fast pace. Seth is left standing alone in the darkness, having lost all his wit. “What the fuck just happened?” He hits his head in his palms, feeling like more and more of an idiot every passing second. Of course, he absolutely should have seen this coming. Stefon and him had been, in essence, flirting for most of the past year, and he had been quite aware of it. But it was so much easier to convince himself that it was just an elaborate bit, fun banter between friends. Friends. Fuck. Had his friend just walked off on him? Stefon’s words had felt so definitive, Seth realizes, and he feels a crushing weight on his chest. Stefon can’t just walk away like that and call it closure, call it the end! Seth likes Stefon. Likes him a lot. Likes speaking with him, being around him. Likes the winks and the quick brush of hands in 30 Rock’s corridors. At this point he has no clue what to call those feelings, but he knows for sure that he’s not letting Stefon get away with this theatrical scene. Real life doesn’t work like that. They can talk it out. They’ll figure it out because that’s what friends do. Suddenly determined, he stops standing stupidly in the middle of the sidewalk (thankfully it’s the middle of the night and there is no one to snap a picture of him and put it on Twitter) and starts after his friend.

He catches up with him barely a minute later. Stefon is walking at a brisk pace though, headed no doubt towards a hot club where he can get high out of his mind and forget about everything for a while. Seth calls after him, slightly out of breath:

“Stefon! Fuck, Stefon, wait!”

Finally, he gets close enough to grab his friend’s shoulder and force him to stop. Stefon spins to face him, his eyeliner blotchy, his face looking hurt and vaguely hopeful at the same time. Seth meets his eyes and feels relief and tenderness wash over him.

“Stefon…”

But there isn’t much to say, and Seth can feel himself tearing up too. Silencing the millions of thoughts going through his mind, he cradles Stefon’s face and closes the distance, kissing him gently. It’s tender and soft, and Stefon doesn’t do much more than let himself be kissed. Seth can feel him trembling slightly, and thinks he hears a choked-out whimper as he pulls off and breaks the kiss. He lets go of Stefon’s face, not exactly sure of where to go from there.

“I couldn’t… You can’t just leave like that, buddy. It’s the middle of the night, c’mon. C’mon, let’s go home and we’ll figure it out.”

* * *

Seth’s apartment building is only a few meters away, but getting there feels like forever. Both men walk side by side, somehow hesitantly. Stefon looks dazed. As Seth pulled away, he took his fingers to his own lips in disbelief and let them rest there, as if trying to convince himself that this had actually happened. Even as he walks, his index lingers on his lower lip, but he frowns. The initial choc has dissipated and his eyes are sad again. Nonetheless, he makes no attempt at stopping Seth and walks next to him, apparently giving up all control and resigning himself to see where this will go. He does not say anything: he has made himself clear already, and Seth looks lost deep in thoughts.

Seth, indeed, is absorbed in memories. He thinks back on every Stefon appearance on Update, on every evening spent so close to each other. He thinks back on that time they grabbed breakfast at a cute little café instead of their usual brunch place, and at how the waiter winked at them and left a note on their napkin saying they were cute together. Seth blushed and laughed it off, but he realizes now that what he really felt at the time was a sort of longing. A desire for the assumption to be true. A desire to reach for Stefon’s hand and hold it gently. He thinks back on all the times Stefon said something dirty and he couldn’t help the image that formed in his mind for a split second, nor the heat in his guts. “Take me for example.” “Gladly.” Him bent over the desk, Stefon close, so close behind him. A blink and the images disappeared, and it was so easy never to think about them again. But he did feel miserable sometimes, lying in bed, thinking about yet another failed first date with a woman he could only see himself liking as a friend. And then his mind would wander to the last time he hung out with Stefon, to how it felt to wake up next to him on the couch, practically spooning because of the lack of space. Or to Stefon spread eagle on the floor because he moved too much and fell off in his sleep, exposed and beautiful. He thinks about how his heart tightened at the view, and again remembers this underground desire to protect, to shield. So powerful yet so easy to disguise as friendly concern. As he walks next to his friend, his hand sometimes brushing against his, he realizes that handing him aspirins and a glass of orange juice when they woke up at 2pm was the closest to domestic bliss he had ever known. And the thought makes him smile. The situation is so fucked up, for him to realize all that _now_ , and like that… But truly he is too tired and shaken to care. His mind can only welcome the realizations, too numb to feel the shame that might otherwise bother him.

As the entrance to the apartment complex comes into view once again, he replays the kiss in his head. It was, in truth, only a touching of lips, yet it felt more tender than any kiss he had shared in a long time. It felt _right_ , like there had been no other possible course of action. He would do it again, he realizes. Anytime. But hopefully soon enough. He blushes in the darkness, and smiles a bit more. He had been so dumb, and for so long. Of course he liked Stefon too, and had done so for a long time. Hopefully his obliviousness would be forgiven. To hell with the fear of change, to hell with his good straight boy image. His brain is numb and tired, but he feels giddy. As he punches in the code to the lobby door and they get inside, he impulsively grabs Stefon’s hand and squeezes it slightly. He can feel that his friend is still tense and he wants to reassure him, let him know that this is ok. That this is just right. Stefon shivers at the touch. But still, his eyes are dark. He pulls his hand away softly.

“Seth Meyers, you don’t have to do this. For the first time in Stefon’s entire life, a one-night stand won’t solve anything. I appreciate the sentiment though.”

"A one-night sta…? Stefon, who’s talking about a one-night stand?"

"Oh, was it really just that one kiss? Well then I better not go up with you, I’ll never be able to keep my hands to myself…"

"Stefon, I don’t understand. I’m certainly not asking you to keep your hands to yourself! (Seth blushes slightly as he says this, his brain catching up with his mouth a second too late.) Is this not ok with you?"

"Seth, don’t get me wrong, I would be ripping off this pricey suit of yours right here and there if I thought there was any chance you wouldn’t regret this in the morning. But Seth Meyers is _normal_ and he likes _girls_. And Stefon is not a girl. I shouldn’t have said all that earlier, I just got a bit carried away. I don’t want you to do this just because you feel bad about the situation. You don’t owe Stefon anything, Seth. But Stefon owes himself a line of coke. So I’ll go now, before this gets worse."

Once again, Stefon heads for the doors. This time though, Seth lets out a surprised laugh and catches up with his friend in no time, forcing him to turn and face him by putting his hand on his shoulder again.

“Stefon. Stefon, look at me. Stefon I’ve been so stupid, I just didn’t want to see. I wanted to be what I was expected to be, and for it to be _simple_ , and _easy_. But I’ve been so stupid. This is what’s simple. This is what’s easy. Being with you buddy. I have no idea what this means for us, and I don’t know how we’ll make this work. But I want to be with you. In every way. If… If you still want this. Me. Of course.”

Stefon stares at Seth in stunned silence for a second, his mind processing the information. He had known all week that it would come to this, to him saying goodbye, and had figured he would try his luck anyways and make sure there was no glimmer of hope. Never had he imagined that Seth might welcome those feelings. But as understanding dawns on him, his eyes light up like he just won the lottery. But happier. He supposes he might as well grab the occasion before it runs away. Beaming and looking at Seth like he’s the most beautiful thing on Earth, he solemnly declares: “Seth. I want you more than I want a human tennis ball launcher.”

Seth smiles and shakes his head. He moves close, so close to his friend as he asks softly: “What’s a human tennis ball launcher, Stefon?” Stefon smiles back.

“It’s that thing of when a midget… Actually, you know what? It doesn’t matter. It can’t compare to you, anyways.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah…” Stefon licks his lips absentmindedly and his tongue lingers on his teeth. Seth brushes his thumbs on the other man’s cheeks and pauses a second to take in the sight. Stefon half closes his eyes in anticipation. Unable to wait any longer, Seth kisses him gently, reverently. And this time, Stefon kisses back. It is a timid thing though, still unsure of being allowed, still afraid that Seth might pull away and be angry at him for assuming too much. But as he feels his friend’s fingers play with the hair at the back of his head, as he feels the respect and devotion in the slow kisses, he realizes that Seth is not going anywhere. That Seth, against all odds, truly wants this too. The thought is overwhelming, and he wraps his arms around his friend to pull him in in a hug. He breaks the kiss for a moment and simply lays his forehead on Seth’s shoulder, holding him close, breathing in his scent of sweat, coffee and chic cologne.

“Seth, I’ve wanted this for so long. I want all of you, Seth Meyers. I need all of you.” He is almost pleading and he shivers, not even sure of what to do with his pressing need, of what to do with the avalanche of desires he had kept repressed all that time, not daring to address them lest they became out of control. He cups Seth’s face in his hands like he is the most precious thing on Earth and kisses him fiercely. Seth smiles against his lips, surprised for a second by the sudden passion but soon giving in as desperately.

They kiss in the apartment building’s lobby for what feels like hours and mere seconds at the same time. Stefon has his hands on the small of Seth’s back and holds him impossibly close as he takes in the taste of his mouth, the feeling of his tongue. He grows needier and almost whines in the kiss, overwhelmed by how good, how perfect Seth is. Seth can feel him getting hard, his crotch pressed against his own suit pants. It’s hot. So hot. How did he ever think he was straight? He feels dizzy, and forming coherent thoughts seems to be getting increasingly difficult. He blames it on the skills of Stefon’s tongue but still breaks the kiss to say, out of breath: “Stefon… Gosh, let’s go up to my place. Lobby. People… Want to be in bed.”

Stefon grins and lets go of him. “Stefon is taking Seth Meyers to bed? And I’m dead sober? Impossible.”

Seth smiles and blushes. “Shut up and let’s go already. And for the record, I’m the one taking _you_ to bed.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Meyers!”

They head to the elevator, kissing again as they wait for it to come down to the lobby. The doors open on a janitor finishing up his late shift, and they break apart quickly, trying to hide their guilty airs. They wait for the janitor to exit and they get in, supressing their laughter and trying to look as innocent as they can. They stay good and quiet as they head up to Seth’s apartment, feeling like kids trying not to get caught. Seth takes a few deep breaths to try to keep the adrenaline and arousal in check, and as his brain clears ever so slightly, he is reminded of just how tired he is. He hasn’t slept in more than 24 hours, and as the sheer excitement dies down a little bit, the exhaustion catches up with him like a ton of brick. Noticing that his eyelids are heavy, he wills himself to breathe slowly and to regain control. He reminds himself that he is with Stefon, that he was kissing him seconds ago! He wants to stay wide awake to enjoy this. But his efforts are in vain: those few seconds of silence were more than enough for the tiredness to set, and he feels positively dizzy now. His head is foggy and his ears suddenly start ringing. Overwhelmed, his legs go lax as the world spins around him, and he has to rest on the wall of the cabin not to collapse.

“Oh shit. Hey, Stefon. I’m… not feeling so good.”

Stefon had been grinning to himself, lost in thoughts as he tried to stay calm until they got to Seth’s place. He snaps back to reality as soon as he hears his friend’s voice however. Seth’s face has turned completely white and he’s resting heavily against the wall, eyes struggling to stay open.

“Ohmygosh Seth Meyers are you ok?” Stefon’s brows furrow with sudden concern, as his brain races to figure out what he did wrong for Seth to suddenly be in such a state. The elevator comes to a stop and the doors open with a ding. Stefon panics for a second, trying to figure out what to do. Getting Seth out of the elevator seems like a priority.

“Come on Seth, let’s get you somewhere comfortable. You look like you just saw Chewie Chaplin’s ghost.” He puts his left arm around Seth’s waist to guide him out of the elevator. Seth hangs on to him as they struggle with the closing elevator doors. Stefon is robust under his lean frame and Seth lets himself be nearly dragged to his apartment, the floor wobbly beneath him. Thankfully, Stefon knows the way.

“Key… Right front pocket,” Seth musters as they get in front of number 714. Still holding him, Stefon uses his free hand to reach for the pocket and grab the key, noticing with a chill how intimate the act feels. He pushes the thought to the back of his mind. Now is not the time. He struggles to unlock the door, one hand busy supporting Seth, and the other still trembling slightly from all the night’s excitement. Finally, both men get in and the door slams shut, Stefon not quick enough to catch it with his foot. He cringes. Seth doesn’t even notice, leaning heavily on his friend and focusing all his energies on not passing out. His hands feel numb now, and even when he tries opening his eyes, the most he can see are dots of colour in a sea of black. Stefon guides him to the sofa and as soon as he gets there, Seth collapses. Stefon tries to get his friend’s legs up on the couch too, so he can lie down, but stops as he sees the faint look of protest on Seth’s face. “Shoes… Not… On couch.” This almost makes Stefon smile in spite of his concern. Leave it to Seth Meyers to worry about damaging furniture when he’s half passed out. He kneels with no protest though, and unties the other man’s dress shoes, taking them off and tossing them away. Seth relaxes, and Stefon gets him to lie down as comfortably as possible on the couch. He props his head up with a pillow, and puts another under his legs.

“Gotta get the blood back to your head, Seth. You feeling ok? Can you talk?”

“I… Yeah. I’ll be ok. You gave me… too good of a… boner. All the blood left… my head.”

Seth speaks in a weak voice, almost inaudibly, but Stefon gets the gist of it and blushes. “Now is not the time, Seth Meyers. And if _Stefon_ says that, you gotta believe him. Let’s take a few deep breaths, ok?”

Stefon’s heart is racing. He isn’t sure of what is happening to Seth, and doesn’t know how concerned he should be. He’s afraid to have done something wrong, and to somehow be responsible for the situation. He needs to get Seth in a state where he is able to speak. Then, they can figure out what’s happening together, and if he ought to be getting medical help. In the meantime though, he does his best to recall what he’s seen EMTs do in all the instances where they’ve had to intervene at one of his favorite clubs.

“Alright Seth, breathe with me now.”

Seth takes a shaky breath and his eyes flutter open worriedly.

“I can’t… Tie… Suit… Feeling too hot.”

“Oh right, gotta get this off you Seth Meyers.”

With a trembling hand, Stefon starts fumbling with his friend’s red tie, loosening it enough that it can hang harmlessly on his neck. He unbuttons the top of his shirt, making sure that nothing restricts his breathing. Once again, he tries his best not to focus on how intimate it feels, on how he wishes his hands were brushing on his friend’s torso under different circumstances.

“Seth, let’s take off your jacket too now, ok?”

Seth just nods so Stefon gets to work. As he struggles to get the suit off the man’s shoulders without forcing him off the couch, he mumbles to himself: “Guess I _am_ ripping off your pricey suit after all.” Seth smiles weakly. Finally, the suit is off and he is left only with his half-opened dress shirt and his loose tie. Immediately his breathing gets deeper and slower, and he relaxes. Still kneeling next to him, Stefon absentmindedly grabs his dangling hand and holds it, tracing circles on the skin reassuringly with his thumb.

“Veeery good Seth. In… Aand out. In… Aand out. Keep breathing like a Bragon.”

Seth shoots him a quizzical look.

“A bear dragon. And when I say bear, I don’t mean the animal.”

“Stefon…!”

Seth’s voice is still weak but it is definitely regaining some assurance. Now that he’s lying down, that his jacket is off and that he can breathe freely, he does feel quite a bit better. He is still very lightheaded, but his vision is back to normal and he seems to be able to form a few coherent thoughts. Unless Stefon kneeling next to him and stroking his hand is an hallucination, in which case he is not doing better at all. But Stefon speaks, confirming that this is, in fact, real:

“Meyers? Feeling a bit better? What happ… Did I do something wrong?”

His voice is hesitant and he tugs at the sleeve of his shirt with his free hand, the other not letting go of Seth’s. He looks small and worried, and Seth feels a surge of tenderness for the man.

“Yeah I’m ok now Stefon, shit I’m so sorry about that. I just got dizzy all of a sudden. I think that’s my body telling me that I’m not twenty anymore, and that I should eat and sleep before I go through so many emotions in one night! I’ll be ok though, don’t worry. Feeling much better already.”

“Sorry, Seth Meyers… I didn’t mean to overwhelm you like that.”

“What? No, absolutely not Stefon. You were perfect, I really owe you one for helping me out. And for, you know…” He lowers his voice, unsure of how to phrase what he really wants to say. “…telling me.”

He gives his friend’s hand a little press as he says that, his expression finishing his thought better than words could have, face kind and open. Stefon’s eyes light up again, like he can’t believe his luck, can’t wrap his head around the fact that this is real. Not wanting to get emotional, he lets go of Seth’s hand and stands up.

“What you, Seth Meyers, need right now, is a Wicked Taxman Gimlet. This drink has everything: vodka, lime juice, real _gold_ … and even that old ten cents you keep finding in your jeans pocket even though you could swear you put it back in your wallet yesterday!”

Seth chuckles. “As lovely as that sounds Stefon, I think I’d rather stick to a tall glass of orange juice. And maybe a few soda crackers.”

“Yesss yes yes yes, absolutely Seth Meyers. I’ll get them for you, don’t you get off the couch.”

And Stefon walks hurriedly towards the kitchen, which he thankfully knows quite well already, used to fixing crazy drinks for his friend at ungodly times of night.

Seth feels much better after eating and once his sugar and salt levels are back to something decent. He isn’t dizzy anymore, simply exhausted. His eyelids are heavy, but he sits on the couch next to Stefon, feeling absolutely content. He perched himself up properly to eat which allowed for his friend to settle close to him, and they now take a time off in companionable silence, absorbing the situation. This almost feels like it could be a normal Saturday night, reflects Seth. His city correspondent and him on his couch, at almost four in the morning. Being at peace together. This feels like the routine they naturally fall into every time they hangout. Except that tonight, when he feels himself getting drowsy with sleepiness, Seth allows his head to rest gently on the taller man’s shoulder. And Stefon simply hums happily and plays with his hair. And Seth realizes that no, this is not a normal Saturday night. This is much, much better.

* * *

Seth probably dozes off a few minutes on Stefon’s shoulder. He is woken up by fingers caressing his neck more insistently.

“Seth, let’s get you in bed, shall we? Otherwise you’re gonna be sore tomorrow and poor Stefon will feel bad not having done anything about it.”

Seth mumbles his approval. As comfortable as he is right now, his bed sounds like heaven. Although he feels perfectly capable of walking to his bedroom on his own, Stefon insists on guiding him to it. “Bark Ruffalo bumps into everything when he’s sleepy. You’re too pretty to get a bump on your forehead.” So Seth lets him.

Seth’s bedroom is elegant and sober, the furniture consisting of an impressive bookshelf the length of an entire pan of wall, of a king-sized bed with a black quilt and white sheets, and of an elegant standing mirror. When he steps in, Seth loses no time unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and discarding it to the floor along with his tie. He is too tired to feel prude or shy, and Stefon can’t help but stare at his toned chest, at the trail of hair going from his bellybutton to his trousers and no doubt continuing underneath. He looks away as Seth unbuckles his belt and steps out of his pants however, suddenly feeling out of place, like he might be invading his friend’s privacy.

“Seth Meyers, Stefon is gonna get some rest on the couch if that’s ok. I’m right there if you need anything though, just call. I only sleep one eye at a time anyways. Like an owl.”

Seth, having kept only his boxers on, is already half in bed, sitting with his legs under the sheets and organizing the pillows. He turns his head and looks at Stefon quizzically.

“The couch? Stefon, you’re welcome in bed if you want. I would never mean to make you uncomfortable and you can totally say no, but there’s plenty of space here. And after all those nights where we both slept cramped on the couch, I feel like we’ve earned it!”

“Is Seth Meyers serious?” The twinkle in Stefon’s eyes at the suggestion gives away his excitement. “Don’t you need the space to get some good rest and feel better tomorrow?”

“I feel much better already, thanks to your good care. And I can’t imagine anything more restful than sleeping next to you buddy. I’ve wanted it for a long time, you know. I’d lay in bed on Sunday nights, after spending the day with you, and I’d catch myself wishing you’d stuck around and snuggled next to me. And then I’d convince myself it was entirely platonic.”

“God, straight men are dumb. I love them.”

Seth chuckles at that. “Can’t say I’m feeling too straight right now Stefon.”

“Are you saying that because you’re dizzy or…?”

“No, dummy. I’m saying that because you’re standing next to me and looking all pretty.”

“Hmm yeah, Stefon has that effect on people.” The taller man winks and licks his teeth, offering Seth a seductive smile.

“Alright, now join me in bed you absolute menace. I’ll be the big spoon.”

Stefon doesn’t need to hear it twice. His jeans and socks are off in seconds, but he keeps his boxers (bright purple ones) and his Ed Hardy shirt.

“You even _sleep_ in it?” Seth supposes he shouldn’t be surprised. He does hope that his city correspondent switches between different copies of the same shirt though. But his brain goes offline completely as soon as Stefon gets next to him under the covers.

“Hi.” His voice is raspy and shy just like when he gets on stage for Update.

“Hey Stefon.” Seth is all smile, looking at his friend like he can’t believe his luck. He goes from sitting propped up against the head of the bed to lying down on his side, settling himself on a pillow. Stefon does the same, and as promised, Seth wraps his arms around him, holding him tight. Stefon shivers and relaxes, taking hold of his friend’s hand and holding it against his chest. Seth closes his eyes and breathes in the familiar scent, takes in the feeling of the soft shirt against his bare chest. “Heaven probably doesn’t get much better than that,” he thinks to himself. He presses a soft kiss on Stefon’s neck, like an offering. Because he feels like it and because he can _._ And then he lets himself go completely and finally drifts to sleep, peaceful and happy. Stefon follows suit a few minutes after, Seth’s hand pressed tightly against his heart, their bare legs tangled together.

* * *

It’s 2pm and Seth wakes up in a daze. The afternoon Sun shines through the pale curtains, filling the bedroom with a soft haze. Outside, the streets sound cheerful yet quiet, and Seth can make out the distinctive atmosphere of a February Sunday in New York. He comes to his senses slowly, not opening his eyes just yet, taking in everything through closed lids. His limbs feel heavy with sleepiness, but in that good way that tells of a night of deep sleep. He is lying on his side, having not moved an inch in his slumber, and his nose is nuzzled against warm skin. Against warm skin? As soon as his brain finishes stringing those thoughts together, memories from the night before come back to him in waves and his eyes jerk open. He finds himself staring at the back of Stefon’s head, nose pressed against his neck, arm hanging lose over his side and against his belly. The other man is still sleeping soundly, face relaxed and the shadow of a smile on his closed lips. He looks peaceful and innocent, and Seth lets his head fall back on his pillow, grinning to himself. He feels vaguely awkward about the events of the night, angry at himself for having been so slow to understand Stefon’s feelings and to react to them, for having allowed the man to think for a second that their friendship was over. But he is so glad to be waking up next to him. His hold on his companion tightens. This feels so right, and as tenderness washes over him, he also feels desire burn deep in his belly. Desire to touch, hold and kiss, yes. But also desire to simply be by this man’s side, like before, but better. It all makes sense to him now, and he realizes that he really, truly wants this. Life, with Stefon. And he hopes that in the clarity of the morning (well, afternoon), Stefon too will want this. Life, with Seth.

He must have tightened his hold a bit too much without realizing it since Stefon stirs against him and wiggles a bit, as if to extirpate himself from an uncomfortable position.

“Mmh get off me Mark Ruffalo, gimme a few more minutes. Bad dog.”

Seth giggles and lets go of his friend, but stays close to him. “Morning Stefon.”

Stefon doesn’t even open his eyes and mumbles to himself: “Oh shit am I still high? I’m hearing Seth again. Mark Ruffalo, you sound like Seth Meyers. Isn’t that funny?”

He finally opens his eyes, as if looking for his dog in the hope of getting an answer. Instead, his gaze falls on a room that feels weirdly familiar, although he can’t quite seem to place it. He rolls to face the other side and ends up face to face with Seth.

“Seth Meyers?”

Seth’s grinning face is the incentive Stefon’s memory lacked, and as his brain leaves its tired haze, he finally remembers everything.

“Ohmygosh I’m in bed with Seth Meyers!” He flashes his thousand-dollar smile and Seth can’t resist the temptation to cup his face and kiss him, smile pressing against smile. Stefon responds instantly, pulling Seth closer and quickly growing needier, letting the kiss become deep and pressing. He suddenly stops himself though, and pulls away. Seth, cheeks flushed and hair messy, hums in protest.

“Seth Meyers, wait. As much as this is the best way to wake up ever, we should talk about this. I mean, ten hours ago I thought you were straight. Are you sure you’re ok with this? What _is_ this, exactly?” Stefon rolls on his back and puts his hands on his face, suddenly overwhelmed, his foggy brain at war with his pressing desire. He really, really doesn’t want to mess this up. Stefon is great at messing stuff up. Especially relationships. But with Seth Meyers, he doesn’t want to risk it.

“Stefon, baby relax.” Seth blushes as soon as he realizes that the term of endearment has slipped his mouth. He soldiers on: “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to presume… I mean, this is a bit confusing for me too. The not being straight part. Although I have to admit I’ve had some doubts for a while now, but you know me… If it’s easier not to think about it, then you better believe I won’t.”

Stefon takes his hands off his face, hiding them in his sleeves instead, but turns his head towards Seth to urge him to go on. Seth takes a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts. “So yeah, I guess this is a lot, quickly. And honestly I have no idea what _this_ is. But it feels so right Stefon. It’s like everything just fit into place for me yesterday, and I can’t imagine going back to what we were before. So tell me. Tell me what you want buddy, what you want this to be. And we’ll make it work.”

“Seth Meyers… Seth Meyers, I’m bad at this.” He gestures, meaning _everything_. “Relationships, feelings, speaking when I’m sober and I need to be serious.” Seth smiles kindly and Stefon presses his wrists against his forehead to steady himself. “And I don’t want to fuck this up because you’re important to me, so this is scary.” He takes a deep breath. “I wasn’t expecting anything yesterday when I told you I couldn’t stop thinking about you. But it’s true. That’s the main reason I keep coming to Update even though I need a Xanax every time. Or five. For the great Seth Meyers. And Seth, that’s not something Stefon does, little crushes and butterflies every time a hand brushes mine. Relationships. Commitment. That’s not something I’ve ever cared about. But I can’t help wanting those things when I think about you. I want it so bad it hurts, and as I told you yesterday, it’s not that nice kind of pain. It’s terrifying. But if you want, and if it’s not too fast, I think I’d like to try…”

“Try what, Stefon?” Seth urges him gently. He needs to hear him say it to know it’s real.

“Try having Seth Meyers as a boyfriend, Seth.” And Stefon looks at him with arched eyebrows, a silent plea demanding an answer. Seth can feel butterflies in his stomach, which hadn’t happened to him since college. Nerves and excitement, and so much desire. Yes, that feels right. He wants that too, so very much.

“Well, having Stefon Zoleski as a boyfriend sounds lovely, buddy.”

Stefon grins furiously, and Seth thinks he can see his upper lip tremble ever so slightly. He simply smiles and grabs his boyfriend’s shirt, pulling him against him and kissing him deeply. In a question of seconds, they are back to sharing a heated kiss, Stefon moaning softly as Seth’s tongue licks into his mouth. They make out hungrily for a few minutes, hands tangled in hair. Eventually, Stefon props himself up on his elbows, towering over Seth for a second and then straddling his lap and bringing his face back down to resume kissing him. Seth lets out a moan, muffled by Stefon’s mouth, as he feels their arousals brush together, separated only by their boxers. The sudden contact, on top of all the kissing and excitement, suffices to make them both fully hard in a matter of minutes. Desperate for more, Stefon starts rocking his hips gently against Seth’s, chasing a more intense friction. He breaks the kiss, out of breath, hands around the smaller man’s face. “Is this ok?”

“Yes, god yes Stefon, don’t stop.”

“Ever been with a man, Seth?” Stefon punctuates his sentence with a stronger thrust against Seth.

“Oh fuck, I’ve- I’ve sucked dick. College was- wild. Oh Stefon, _please_.” He arches his head back in the pillow as the other man sucks a hickey right under his jawline.

“What about gotten _your_ cock sucked by a dude?” Stefon’s voice is low and raspy, heavy with desire. He’s still rocking against Seth, dick twitching as he catalogues all of the other man’s reactions, the way his eyes close when their dicks rut against each other, the way he whimpers when he kisses along his neck and chest.

“I- Yeah, that too. It’s been a while though. Ah- Stefon, wanna touch you. Take your shirt off baby please.”

Stefon hums and complies, pushing himself off Seth for a quick second and discarding the green shirt to the floor. Seth takes the occasion to sit back up and rest his back against the head of the bed, Stefon now sitting on his lap with his legs on each side of him. Seth caresses the thin layer of hair on his boyfriend’s chest, and leans forward to press wet kisses on his pecs, stopping over his nipples to lick and suck at them. Stefon lets out a raspy breath, caressing up and down Seth’s back with trembling hands.

“Seth please, wanna taste you, wanna feel your thick cock on my tongue. Wanna make you feel so good Seth Meyers.”

“Y-yeah. Yeah ok, baby. Please.” Seth doesn’t remember ever being that aroused, ever desiring someone’s touch so much. He can feel a soft burn on every spot Stefon touched or licked, like an echo of the sensation lingering on his skin. It’s like years of subconscious desires came crashing down on him with the first taste of Stefon’s tongue, and he gets impossibly harder as the other man goes to lie on his stomach between his legs. As hesitant as his city correspondent was a few minutes ago, their mutual confession seems to have awoken a new confidence in him, and Seth feels like he is discovering a new facet of his friend. A ravishingly, irresistibly sexy new facet of his friend.

“You look so good like that Stefon, fuck you’re like a Greek god.”

Stefon blushes and puts his thumbs under the elastic of Seth’s boxers, sliding them down his legs, licking his teeth in anticipation. He hovers his head over Seth’s cock, which is hanging hard and heavy.

“Seth Meyers, I’ve dreamt of doing that so many times. I must be the luckiest boy ever.”

Seth’s eyes are already closed in anticipation. “No Stefon, that would be me.”

“Alright then, let’s call it a draw.” And with that, Stefon takes the tip of Seth’s cock in his mouth and starts bobbing his head, licking gently at the head and reveling in the sensation. Seth outright yelps as Stefon’s lips close around him, and his hands shoot to his lover’s head, tangling in his hair. Stefon hums his approval and keeps sucking his dick, making little satisfied noises that tell Seth just how much he is enjoying this too. He brings a hand up to Seth’s balls, and after fumbling with them for a few seconds, caresses the soft skin of his perineum instead. Seth bucks his hips and moans desperately, and Stefon can taste precum on his tongue. With his free hand, he grabs Seth’s hip. He draws small circles around his hipbone at first, appreciating the goosebumps he feels under his fingers, but then suddenly uses his hand to hold the other man in place firmly, preventing him from thrusting. Seth gasps but surrenders control, recognizing a lost cause when he sees one.

“Stefon-”

Stefon lifts his head, grinning at Seth when he hears him whine from the sudden loss of sensation.

“Shhh Seth, trust me. Gonna make you feel so good.” And in one swift motion, he takes Seth’s entire cock in his mouth, gagging ever so slightly around it, but his face the purest expression of bliss.

Seth lets out an absolutely debauched moan, and his hands tighten their grip in the other man’s hair. “Stefon- Ah! Fuck, you’re incredible. Baby I’m so close-” He isn’t even certain of what he’s saying anymore, the entire world disappearing except for Stefon and his mouth and his throat and his hands… He is overwhelmed by sensations but still wants more, feeling his desire run so deep that it seems nothing could satisfy it. A few more bobs of Stefon’s head accompanied by his hand still brushing over the soft skin behind his balls is enough to send Seth irrevocably close to the edge.

“Stefon, gonna cum baby-” In other circumstances, Seth might have felt embarrassed from getting off so quickly, but against Stefon’s mouth, he thinks, he never stood a chance.

Stefon doesn’t say anything, but his lips twist up into a smile around Seth’s dick. He goes back to sucking him off shallow and quick, pressing slightly harder against his perineum with his thumb, and in a matter of seconds he feels him tense and cry out as the salty taste of cum fills his mouth. He swallows and keeps Seth’s dick in his mouth, licking at the tip until he feels him shiver and flinch. Then he lifts his head up with a pop and locks eyes with his lover, grinning madly, proud of himself.

“You taste good Seth Meyers! Best breakfast ever! That was so amazing.” His eyes are glowing with something like happiness.

“Jesus, you’re one to talk Stefon. You were so fucking good baby, fuck.” Seth is resting his head heavily against the bed’s headboard, forehead shiny with sweat, still trying to gather his wit. “Come back up here buddy, wanna hold you. Please.”

Stefon props himself back up and sits against the headboard, motioning for Seth to straddle his lap. He trails his hands on his chest and they exchange a long kiss, Stefon’s lips still curved in a cunning smile. “Stefon gives the best blow jobs in New York, and now they’re all yours Seth Meyers.”

Seth wraps his arm around the other man and kisses his neck sloppily. “Would you believe my luck?” And he sucks down harder on his lover’s pulse point, grazing at the skin with his teeth. Stefon whines softly and it seems to go directly to Seth’s dick, making him ache for _more_ without being able to pinpoint exactly what _more_ is. Every single scenario that ever crossed his mind at SNL is now flashing before his eyes, and he can’t even decide which he’d want more. He has started rutting absentmindedly against his boyfriend again, still sucking hickeys down his neck and shoulders. Stefon’s desperate whines make him aware of the other man’s erection pressed against his stomach. Seth quickly reaches down with one hand to palm at his lover’s dick, still clad in purple boxers, not wanting to make him wait any longer. “Baby you’re so hard for me.” His voice is husky.

“You’re a gay man’s wet dream Seth.” Stefon says it like an evidence, not denying how turned on he is but not wanting to rush Seth either. And he feels perfectly content to just revel in his touch and to get to really look at him, scruffy and blissed out, his toned chest sweaty, his lips swollen. He loves feeling his weight on his thighs too, grazing at his back as he lets him shower his chest with kisses.

And indeed, Seth is still working his magic with his lips, stopping longer on his lover’s nipples to make his back arch. He keeps a hand on his dick but doesn’t move it. Stefon decides that Seth looks shy, actually. Like he wants more and isn’t sure how to ask, or where to start. He smiles and decides to help him out. Cupping his face to get their heads closer together, he whispers in his ear: “Wanna make me come, Seth Meyers? You don’t have to do anything crazy, just jerk me off if you want. I’ll show you what I like.” And with that he places a hand on the one Seth has on his dick and lets it rest there, asking for permission.

Seth breathes a small sigh of relief. “Oh fuck yeah baby, of course. Of course. How do you want me to do this?”

“Get those boxers off me, won’t you? I’m gonna make a mess of them otherwise and they’re my favourite pair.” And he raises his hips slightly, allowing Seth to slide the underwear off him. His dick is heavy and red against his stomach, and Seth takes in the sight.

“God Stefon, you’re so pretty baby. Show me what you want me to do buddy.” He’s happy to give up control to the more experienced man, the novelty of it all making it hard for him to think, let alone to make decisions. And if he’s being totally honest with himself, he has to admit that seeing his friend take charge for once is far from a turn off.

“Alright Seth, give me your hand honey.”

Seth shoots him a quizzical look but presents his hand to his city correspondent. Stefon grabs it gently and brings it up to his mouth, first licking it slowly, appreciative of Seth’s little gasp. Then, he gathers saliva in his mouth and lets it drop unto Seth’s palm. “Stefon likes it better when it’s wet.”

Seth’s breath hitches at the sight and he is quick to understand what his lover is getting at. He wraps his now slick hand around Stefon’s dick. Stefon shivers and bites his lip.

“Seth Meyers…” He puts his own hand around Seth’s, holding it just tight enough to be able to guide his movements, and starts doing an up and down motion, setting a lazy rhythm. “Ohmygosh Seth Meyers, your hand feels incredible around my cock-” He moans as Seth starts moving faster, and brings his head forward to muffle his little sounds against his lover’s mouth. Stefon has had a lot of sex in his life, has tried a lot of crazy things. Had he been asked about it twenty-four hours earlier, he would probably have said that hand jobs were annoyingly vanilla. But here he was, absolutely unraveled by Seth’s hand, shaking from the intensity of his touch. He was absolutely head over heelies for him, he realized. But that should have been old news.

Seth can feel Stefon coming further and further undone under him as he jerks him off with more determination, their mouths pressed together, exchanging whispered pleas. He revels in how gorgeous the other man is, making little noises and looking like he is ascending to heaven from a fucking hand job. His eyes are still circled by yesterday’s eyeliner, which has now blotched all over, making him look thoroughly debauched. Seth can’t believe he’s the one who gets to make him feel that good, and the thought of it combined to the strength of his desire suffice to make him half hard again. Stefon notices.

“Mmh you think I’m that hot, Meyers?” Stefon has removed his hand from Seth’s, trusting him entirely, and is caressing his back encouragingly instead. He is panting and resting his own back against the headboard.

Seth doesn’t answer, but adds a twist to his wrist as he continues to move his hand up and down his dick. He offers Stefon a smile – he doesn’t have much experience but he knows what feels good on himself. He is satisfied to hear Stefon yelp and to feel his nails digging harder into his back. The sting makes it feel more real, makes him feel claimed in the best of ways. His mouth can’t help but run loose, any form of filter shattered into oblivion: “You’re so gorgeous baby, you have no idea how much I want you, how much I wish you’d put that cock inside me.”

Stefon gasps, and precome leaks on Seth’s hand. “Oh. Seth Meyer _has_ a dirty mouth after all. You’ll get my cock honey, don’t worry. But not right now. We gotta make the fun last.”

Seth makes a desperate noise and rests his forehead against his boyfriend’s, bringing his free hand to the back of his head. He pets his hair and starts jerking him off in earnest, picking up the speed even more.

“Seth- Ah! Seth Meyers I’m so close, can you-” He cuts off his sentence with a needy moan.

“Tell me what you want baby. Tell me what you need.” Seth’s brows are furrowed in concentration.

“Pull my hair Seth- Oh! Oh, _p_ _lease!_ " Stefon is close, so close. He knows he’s only missing this extra touch to send him over the edge, the sharp sensation that will make him feel alive and _here_. Thankfully, Seth’s face lights up in understanding and his cock twitches. He grabs a fistful of his lover’s hair and tugs, at first lightly, but then with more force as he hears Stefon’s desperate whines. Stefon keens and whimpers, his brain going offline.

“Seth Meyers- Gonna ah! Gonna spill all over you-”

“Do it baby, come for me.” Seth tugs at his hair one last time, gives one last jerk to his dick, and Stefon comes, arching his back and repeating Seth’s name again and again like a mantra. As Seth works him through it, Stefon's mind goes completely blank but for a single sentence, echoing in his skull like an evidence. “I’m in love with Seth Meyers. I’m in love with Seth Meyers.” Like his one single certainty. The words almost slip his lips, almost make their way out to the real world and into the open. But Stefon bites them off with one last moan as he distantly feels Seth’s hand let go of him. Now is not the time, he thinks. But one day it will be, he hopes. And the words will be there, right there for Seth to take.

He is brought back to reality by Seth cradling his face and whispering: “I got you baby, I got you. God you’re so beautiful Stefon. Are you alright?”

He realizes he has tears in his eyes from the sheer intensity of it all, of being here, with Seth Meyers, finally. “Seth…”

“Yeah, yeah I know buddy. That was…”

“Even better than… actually I can’t even think of a good comparison. You were great, Seth Meyers.” Stefon pulls him in in a close hug and kisses him slowly, all lips and adoration. “Oh honey, you’re hard again. Do you want me to do something about it?”

Seth giggles and looks into his eyes fondly. “Stefon, as lovely as that sounds, I’m afraid I’ll pass out for real if you try to get another orgasm out of me. How about we shower and eat before round two?” Stefon hums his approval and both men start to extirpate themselves from the messy bed. As Seth grabs a towel to clean off some of the mess, Stefon is reminded of something:

"Seth Meyers?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Nothing will ever beat this Valentine’s day."

Seth giggles again, realizing that yes, they are February fourteen. And he has a hot, perfect Valentine.

"I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong next year, Stefon."

They grin at each other, the weight of the implications washed away under their peaceful joy. Eventually, they would have to discuss what all this meant for their future. Eventually. But for now, all that mattered was that it was Sunday afternoon and that they were about to cook breakfast in their underwear. All that mattered was that they were together, and that they were happy.

It was February, and they had never felt so warm.


End file.
